I’m a bookworm. I’ve always got at least 3 books on my nightstand and 1 in my bag. Constantly reading and processing information to fulfill the intellectual sex geek inside me. This week, I returned to Barbara Carrellas’s Ecstasy is Necessary: A Practical Guide to give me good ideas to dig deeper into my own erotic mind.
Imagine yourself as the character in an erotic movie. You get to define “erotic” any way you like. Your movie can be sexually explicit, intensely romantic, or case with beautiful, leather-clad creatures cracking whips. Please do not judge yourself for your choice. Please get out a notebook and answer the following questions:
If I were the lead character in my erotic movie…
- What would the view be from my bedroom?
- What would I wear?
- What would I eat?
- If I could choose anyone, living or dead, who would my lovers be?
- How would I like to be touched?
- What three sexual activities would I excel at?
- What three new sexual activities would I try?
- Who would my friends be?
- What would people say about me?
- What three places would I go that I have never been?
I love this exercise! I’ve been touching these questions all day long. When looking at the frozen foods in the grocery story, in the car on the way to pick up a friend, while brushing my teeth, and just sitting and looking out the window.
More than the answers, I love the encouragement to dream, to fantasize, to really put myself at the center of my own sexual story. Being the protagonist in my own drama pushes me to define what really turns me on, what intrigues me, what kinds of curiosities or desires I want to pursue. And when I know this information, then I can make clear, conscious choices about what kind of sex I want to have, with whom, where, when, and with what kinds of toys, accessories, dialogues, or audience.
As I’ve been mulling over these questions and letting my mind wander, I’ve been tapping into the well of my erotic imagination, and feeling surprise and joy with the meanderings. Noticing the ebb and flow of erotic energy in my body all day, I also notice the increasing ease with which I can return to that reservoir of images, sounds, words, and sensations.
When you let yourself play in your own erotic movie, how do you turn yourself on? What surprises you? What is scary or easy or dreamy?