We’re 10 days in to the new year, with the moon eclipsing and full today, so the sky will be bright tonight with earth’s closest companion.
Congratulations! You made it this far!
When you set your 2020 goals 10 days ago, did you consider what you want for your sexual life? Did you clarify your intentions, goals, or next steps for your sexual pleasure, healing, and liberation?
We’re in one of the most significant years of our lifetime when it comes to war and peace, national leadership, the livability of our planet, and the direction of our society for the next generation.
I don’t say this to put more pressure on your to do everything. I say it because we are all called to be more intentional in our action.
We — humanity — are being called to be intentional, methodical, tender, and relentless in our pursuit of self-loving and global justice.
So, how will you be intentional in your self-loving pursuit of sexual healing, ecstasy, connection, and liberation?
Here’s a simple list of intentions that come from friends, students, lovers, and my own heart.
I intend to …
- be more present to my sexual desires
- dance more — in my underwear, with other people, even when no one else is
- say what I want when I want it
- say NO more often
- say YES more often
- embrace my erotic curiosities
- engage my critical thinking and viewing skills when I’m choosing my pornography
- seek out erotic media that aligns with my social values and turns me on
- participate in sex-positive communities, events, performance, or art
- intentionally turn myself on through movement and touch
- articulate my goals on paper and return to them weekly
- leave toxic relationships with people I love
- diversify my sexual repertoire with myself
- prioritize consent at every step
- initiate conversations with my partner about our sexual life on a regular basis
- reduce pressure to perform
- join a support group for survivors
- take a healthy relationships class
- refer to experts in the field about challenges I face
- read books, listen to podcasts, take a class, hire a coach
- get a massage monthly
- get an erotic massage at least once
- normalize conversations about sexuality and pleasure with friends
- do sex magic rituals every full moon
- take sex off the back burner
- acknowledge that I’m afraid to actually do or say what I want, and then do or say it anyway
- masturbate regularly
- find my GSpot
- explore my prostate for pleasure and health
- enjoy the sensuality of my life everyday
- cultivate magically intimate relationships with people or places that inspire my whole aliveness
- put Sex Lab on the calendar and show up for it with curiosity and gratitude
- support sex workers’ rights
- learn about genital anatomy for myself and the people I like to have sexual play with
- understand the Orgasm Gap
- use a vibrator
- use my other hand
- redefine “sex”
- bend over, open up, and use more lube
- go slower when I touch my partner
- experiment with BDSM
- make more noise
- give money to survivors’ service organizations
- dismantle misogyny, sexism, or racist patriarchy in myself and my community; stop supporting public officials or leaders who use these tactics to get ahead
- practice self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-loving
Pick a few off this list. Amend, adjust, and add to this list for your needs, desires, and sexual goals. Integrate them into your day, your year, and your life.
Because my liberation is bound to yours, tell me below what your sexual liberation intentions and goals are for 2020. Let me support you, sit with you in struggle, or cheer you on in success!